CONFESSIONS--because they have been on my mind lately.
I wish I could sleep in until 10 every morning. Here is a picture of me doing just that (just so I can remember in case it never happens again). I remember this ghetto hotel well...towels the size of wash cloths and scratchy linens on the bed. I was also unknowingly pregnant and sick with Isaac. One time I read in a book about my great grandma (who had 9 daughters) that she too liked to sleep in...and she did! I guess she went back to bed after she made a big breakfast and sent her kids off to school. Some would say lazy, but I say, HEAVENLY! My favorite is to eat a big breakfast on a Saturday morning and then get back under the blankets...Kyle used to let me do this every once in awhile too--back when we had one or two children.
If I could, I would eat dessert for every meal. I just love my chocolate and ice cream so much! I've tried to curb it a bit...but to no avail.
Sometimes my lunch consists of a sandwich and a candy bar. And sometimes it is just a candy bar. Mars Bars and recently peanut butter cups (frozen) are my favorite. And yes, I put that information in there just in case anyone wants to be nice to me someday.
Sometimes my lunch consists of a sandwich and a candy bar. And sometimes it is just a candy bar. Mars Bars and recently peanut butter cups (frozen) are my favorite. And yes, I put that information in there just in case anyone wants to be nice to me someday.
I hate having gross dirty dishes in the sink and I hate having things on my floor. Sometimes I just pile everything on the couch or table JUST so it isn't on my floor. Maybe a little OCD about it? I don't know. But I'm cured of both for now, my sink and floors look just like this more often than not. What to do? I have two babies that seem to always need me to hold them. I have to let a lot go these days--and I am...but sometimes I cry about it too!! I'm sure I'll get comfortable with being a slob one of these days.
(and yes this is a picture of my sink yesterday. I did have 10 children at my house but still...gross)
I'm torn. Torn into pieces about these two being separated all day long since Isaac is now in all day 1st grade. Even Ruby is having a hard time. After we dropped Isaac off at school she wandered around moaning and crying his name. After we dropped Luke off at preschool she mourned for him as well. It was sad knowing that I couldn't talk to Isaac and ask him how his day was going. It was great that I didn't have to break up so many fights. But I still have Ruby and she is the biggest fighter of them all!!
Secretly I wish I home-schooled my children. But I can't for two reasons--ONE I lack the patience necessary to teach my own children...really, tantrums erupt from me out of frustration sometimes when I'm trying to teach them something. It is pitiful. And TWO I fear the social awkwardness that we all know sometimes occurs with home-schooled children. I'm sorry, I do have friends who home school and I think they are wonderful...however in my experience growing up, all the home-schooled children were a little "off". Which shouldn't matter, because they were all CTR pros and very smart but unfortunately, it matters to me.
So I apologize to my little ones who will come back to me a little more corrupted by the world and those "other" kids:)...but hopefully I can brush the world off them when they walk in the door. They are both so innocent still. Luke doesn't even know what the word fart means (because I detest that word so it never gets used...along with a million others). I loved that when his uncle (who we all love and adore) tried to get my boys to smile for the camera using fart jokes both boys just sat there dazed and confused. I just want to keep them sweet for as long as possible because we all what little boys are capable of:) so I'm just stalling for a few years.
My last confession for today--I wish I could be a star in a musical. Problem is, I can't sing or dance and only THINK I can act. But I'm hoping in the next life I magically inherit these talents. Look for me in the next Broadway musical. In the next life of course.
13 comments:
I was nodding my head in agreement to each one of these. Every. single. one. I wish I could sleep in each day (and sometimes I put a movie on for Sophie at 6:30 so I can climb back in to bed until it's over at 8!), I love my candy, I can't stand dirty dishes in the sink, I am already crying about Sophie going to preschool in two weeks for the first time, and I often wonder if I should home school, but I ultimately always come back to the public school option because of the same reasons as you. And I've told Joseph a million times that in the next life I will be a big Broadway star so he can start gearing up for that. So we can both know that these are totally normal confessions because I'm sure we're not alone. Loved your list--you're awesome!
And I'd bring you some peanut butter cups right now if I lived close so that we could gorge on them together, because they're some of my favorites too!
I wish I could sleep in too. But I'd be happy just to sleep until 8! These days I'm awake at 4 when the baby cries. I feed him and crawl back into bed. Then I'm up at 6:30 to get the kids up and ready for school. Sometimes I think that at least if I homeschooled them I wouldn't have to wake up at 6:30. But like you I know I'd make a terrible homeschooler. And like you, I know those "off" kids that were homeschooled. Plus my husband and I can both rattle of names of teachers that we loved or really had a positive influence on us and I feel like if all they had was me, they'd miss out on that. AND I feel like it's my job to teach them how to live in the world and stand up for what's right; not live apart from the world. But I still think there are awesome things you can do with homeschooling.
I am a terrible housekeeper. I wish I had a neat, orderly house, but more often than not it looks like 3 little tornadoes ran through it. I supposes for now I'll just have to be content with being a wannabee neat freak.
You're my hero. Oh, and those are the same two reasons I have said I can't homeschool my kids... mostly the patience part.
Thanks for your confessions! I flipped out at my boys tonight and now I'm feeling guilty. Nice to know other mom's out there aren't perfect.
This is my weird comment: nice post.
Been there, done that, had those same feelings. Life is real, and even though you eat candy bars for lunch (maybe that is hereditary?) and cry, you are doing a good job.
xo
PS- you are lying. Isaac is not really in first grade?! How did that happen?
I didn't realize how much the swing set was going to cost, but it was Brian's project and he's the finance guru of the family so I let him run with it. He bought the joints and chains and seats and stuff to connect it to the steep pipes from a commercial playground equipment company (aaastateofplay.com.) The total for that came to about $550. That includes about $87 in shipping. Then he bought the galvanized steel pipes from a place locally and had them cut to the right lengths. He picked them up with the Uhaul before moving all of our stuff into the new house. The pipes cost about $400. So it came to about $950 for the swing set. It looks like you can buy a complete swing set for less on the same website. But the lengths come in multiples of two seats. And ours has three seats. I think Brian said he figured for one like ours with just two seats the total would have come to like $1100. So there you go. Hope that helps. =)
Loved your blog, dear Emily of mine!
Why do you think I started getting so many baskets--so I could everything from the tables and floors in a basket. I am the clutter queen of the world, well maybe I know a few that could top me.
I like going back to bed better than sleeping in. I can never seem to sleep past 6 or 7 but I can really go back to bed and sleep, expecially if it is cold and raining. You are doing a great job and you better be eternally grateful I didn't homeschool you. You had some pretty great teachers and coaches that made a good impression on your life. The boys will only love coming home and beging together more after being away all day. That pictue of Ruby with the feet at the top of your blog is priceless! It's raining right now and Dad is taking a nap with the music on and I'm going to do the same now. I had class this morning, worked at the clinic until 1:00, went grocery shopping and came home and cleaned and double washed vegetables until now. Love, Mom in Guatemala
We may go to a ballet tonight???
Tomorrow we have future missionaries from Momostenango to finish up, so its an extra clinic day.
I loved hearing your confession and hereby absolve you of all guilt, since I know of your good heart.
Glad I'm not the only one who wishes I could be in a musical even though I have no singing abilities, or coordination to dance :)
And I know you don't think my children are weird ;) I like to think that its the weird families who choose to homeschool who are going to end up with the weird kids--I really do think that's more the case than the other, but that comes from living in a state where there are a LOT of HSers, so there's the whole spectrum. My experience growing up was more like what you are talking about (but like I said, the families who choose to HS were already weird, so I think their kids would have turned out like that no matter what.) And anyway, I guess I'm not HS right now anyway (but I'm pretty sad about it, too--first grade is just still so little!)
And I have to confess to eating way too many meals from the chocolate group--wish I looked as thin as you, though, while doing it.
Ditto. I agree. With everything
I hate a sink full of dirty dishes too. Two words: Paper plates. Actually two more: paper bowls. We buy the big packages at costco. It has made a HUGE difference in the amount of dishes I have to do. For me, it's worth the cost and saves me ALOT of time. And we have mandatory recycling in our county, so I don't feel as bad about the amount of trash because they go in the recycling.
And I wish I could home school, too. But my kids are social beings. They want to be at school with their friends, with kids their age. I have a few friends who homeschools, and there are a lot more social oppurtunities than there used to be. There are homeschool groups, and classes and fieldtrips. I'm taking mental notes and might try it in the next few years to see how it goes. But for now, I really like the school my kids go to and their teachers and the kids in their classes.
I enjoyed reading your post Emily- sorry i never comment, but i do read!! Its crazy how life gets with a baby in the mix:), its also crazy how fast they grow when you already have kids- cant believe my baby is almost 8 months!!!- i wish i could say we were "done", but ....:)-- i guess those "dirty floors/dishes/etc" are the sacrifices we make as mommys:)- sweet kids- gotta love em!
I loved reading the post and the comments. Glad to know I'm not the only one on just about all of those. I am sure one day my house will be nice and neat but then I will probably miss the little hands that make it a mess.
Such a great post Emily and I ditto everything you said. Love sleeping in and/or going back bed. I hate the beginning of first grade and resent those teachers for getting my kids all day. And I hate having dishes in my sink, but I also HATE emptying my dishwasher, so it's kinda a catch-22.
Anyway, you are great and you're kids are adorable. I wish I could snuggle that little Oliver. He is so sweet. Love your confessions.
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