Luke needs your help.
I need your help.
This family NEEDS your help!
Luke has been potty training for the past couple of weeks. He is pretty good at #1, but he REFUSES to do #2 in the toilet. He screams and cries and tells us it will hurt him and that he can't do it! It really is quite traumatic for him! I have tried everything. I have bribed him. I have punished him. I have washed him with COLD water (he hates that and cries bloody murder). I have prayed for him. I have cheered him on. I have forced him to stay on the pot for long amounts of time (while I give him popsicles and potty cheers--even read books) but as soon as I grant him his freedom, he goes and does the job somewhere else. You name it, we've tried it. He HOLDS it until he can hide from us. I have tried having him in the same room with me all the time, but one second I turn my head and he is gone! By the time I find him, it is too late. I am forced to use pull ups (I have already thrown away too many pairs of poop filled underwear) and those things are expensive! So, if any of you have any ideas, please let us know! Luke would really appreciate some help here. He is sick of having such a frustrated mean mommy.
16 comments:
Douglas peed in the toilet like a champ from day one of potty training. We never had a problem with it. Now pooping was another story. It took him about 2 months, maybe longer, to poop in the toilet. He wouldn't do it for some reason. But after keeping a close eye on him, we figured out the signs of when he was needing to poop. He would also go into his closet to poop, so we knew whenever he went in there. So just give him time, pooping is usually hard for most kids. It might take a while, but he will figure it out.
Oh and I remember the one thing that ended up working for us was telling him that if he pooped in the toilet, he could flush it and watch his poop go down the big, fun water slide.
We are having the same problem. I did some research. Go check this out. It gave me some tips that I'm going to try. Good luck! http://www.drgreene.com/21_762.html
I would recommend giving him a small dose of a fiber drink in the mornings. That way, he won't be able to hold it like that, so when he sits on the potty, he'll have to go. I hate potty training, though. It's so difficult! I just started with my Ethan today and we had like 6 accidents.
ummm.. in my infinite wisdom as a mom of one (note sarcasm), we too had major issues with #2. i blogged about the time josh actually went as it was so exciting. the thing that i found made it happen was making josh sitting in it and not changing him. i just kept telling him if he went in the potty, he wouldn't have to sit in it. GOOD LUCK! it is NOOO fun.
You started way too early in my opinion! You're supposed to wait until they beg you to not wear diapers. I don't have any advice for you, but I wish you good luck!
Give him some Fiber One granola bars and it won't hurt him one bit. :) Seriously, one time Clara ate two of those and they sure flushed out her system!
The big, fun water slide? Kami's funny.
I'm with Poppy on this one. My kids wait until 3 1/2 and 4, but then they were so ready it happened in one day, with no accidents for one child, and 3 for the other. It was a peice of cake! My next one is coming up on 3 3/4 and totally not interested at all. I figure he'll figure it out before kindergarten!
Thanks for all the advice!! My friend e-mailed me what she did with her little girl. I'm posting it in case anyone out there needs help in this area too! I'm going to try a bunch of different techniques. When we try this one, I will be using a pull up instead of underwear:) AND Luke is 3 years old...and since he can go the whole day without one pee accident, I'm pretty sure he is ready for the most part...plus, I have to have him potty trained for preschool. He is dying to go next year...I keep telling him he needs to wear big boy underwear for that!
" Whitney did this for six months!!! At first I was bent on forcing her to do it in the toilet but my pediatrician recommended that I don't do that. So I backed off and let her go in her pants (yes I know gross.) I made her do it in the bathroom. Then I took the pants off. Then I made her he sit on the toilet with her panties on to go. This all happened over several months without resistance. The next recommended step was to cut a big slit in the panties so even though they keep them on the poop falls in the toilet. Whitney however caught on to that and was having none of it.
But I was at the end, so I told her that it was time for her to go poop on the potty and that mommy and daddy were going to help. I had Scott hold her and we forced and infant suppository up. (I know it sounds horrible and it was.) She screamed and screamed. Scott and I left her in the bathroom and said she could come out when she went poop on the potty. Then we sat outside the bathroom door and prayed really hard. Well when you stick one of those things up there they can't hold it forever. So finally we heard her saying, "Okay. Okay. I can do it." She got on the toilet and went. We sighed a huge sigh of relief. She came out all happy and proud and we haven''t had a problem since then. A couple times after that she expressed hesitancy but when I mention the suppositories (not as a threat, as an offer of help) she quickly went.
I know it seems extreme but it worked and I'm pretty sure she's not scarred. Whatever you do, just know this is a common problem and even though it seems agonizing, I just had to keep telling myself, "She won't being going to college pooping her pants." He'll get it eventually!"
I had the same prob. with Brigg and it took quite awhile to finally get him to poop in the toilet. He hated wearing diapers and wanted to wear underwear, so everytime he pooped his pants, it was back to the diaper. The really big thing that finally did it was I gave in and said we weren't potty training, that it was back to the diapers. I told him only big boys go to preschool and you have to wear underwear, not diapers. He was SO excited for preschool. On his own, that next day, he decided to go poo on the potty. Once he did it one time, he was fine and we didn't have any more accidents. I've heard of others making their kids clean up their messes. Good luck!
i had the same problem with grace. in retrospect i think i did start too early with her -- she was only 2 1/2 -- but she seemed ready and she was pee-trained in a day or so. #2 was a whole different story. i feel like i went through every single step you described in trying to get her to go. after months and months of this, something finally clicked for her and this is what it was:
we had been talking about service a lot for FHE, and it was getting close to Christmas when we have a tradition of filling a manger for baby Jesus with a piece of straw for every service you do.
and i remember one day just being at my wit's end with her after she had pooped in her underwear yet again, and i just pleaded with her to PLEASE do a service for mom by pooping in the toilet. for whatever reason, when i went on to explain how much work it made for me to have to clean her up and change her clothes, while i still had the baby to take care of and ethan, she kind of just GOT it. and from then on she just started using the toilet and letting me know that she was doing a service for me. after that i just made sure to praise her and thank her so much for doing such a huge service for me.
anyway, that is a novel, and perhaps it won't work for every kids, but thats what worked with grace. good luck!!!
I'm glad you posted this so I can refer back to everyone's tips when I start potty training with Hannah. I wish I had some more advice to give, but I am just wishing you luck!
If you ever figure this one out, let me know. Stockton is having the same trouble. We were doing so well at first, but he has recently had a set-back (with both pee and poop).
With Bradley it was a privacy issue, and also not wanting to sit down to go. So after weeks of trying everything I stood him on the open toilet seat and left the bathroom when I knew he had to go. I suppose this could be "dangerous" but I wasn't too concerned. He went about 10 min later. We kept to this routine for a couple weeks and soon he started sitting down on his own.
I tried this with Jack and it didn't work. I had him in pull-ups and he just wasn't getting it and so I let him run naked. We only had 2 accidents (yes, it was a pain to clean up) but then after a little explaining with each accident he figured out he could "hide" in the bathroom to go and that just clicked for him.
Good Luck.
You just wrote the story for boy #1
I tried EVERYTHING.
This is what I finally did:
I waited until he was 3 1/2, did the naked thing and was done in about 2 days.
Since then, I decided that potty training was just not something I wanted to fight about with my kids. They all ended up having the #2 problem. None of them were potty trained until they were inbetween 3 and 3 1/2. And they each took only a couple of days. I stopped feeling shamed about it, that I was a bad mother because I could not successfully potty train my child. Besides, my friends whose children were "potty trained" at 16, 18, 20 mo. were constantly having to buy emergency underwear and outfits at various stores on their various errands. To me, that is not potty trained. So for me, it was definitely a prolonged time in the diapers, but less frustration for all of us.
good luck.
oh good luck! I am not sure about this Mom thing I am beginning. Once you have it figured out I will be coming over to learn from you. Sorry I can't offer any advice. In my small experience as a children therapist for the last year, I can say (without getting to Freudian on you): Keep in mind is developmental level. He is for sure within the age range considered to be the window for "potty training." His little mind and body are working hard to master is environment. Part of those tasks include taking initiative in his world- it will come, and he will meet his needs and master this too. Just hang in there for the process and try not to take any drastic measures to force him- even though its frustrating :)
Emily i love how you keep things real. You are a GREAT blogger. I love to read your posts :)
We are struggling with Ally's #2 as well. She is a pro at #1 but, fights fights fights #2. I believe it's a power struggle with her. It's been over a month and I am tired of fighting her. We have done EVERYTHING that you have done as well. She actually will not even wear pull -ups . Which I am okay with. My opinion is that they confuse kids, but Scott disagrees with me and says it's better than cleaning poop out of the underwear:) SHe will not wear them anyway, so no big deal. We have explained it to her over and over that she needs to poop in the toilet and not her underwear. I may try some of your friends suggestions. But i believe she will get it eventually, when she realizes that we are not making a big issue of it anymore.
Good luck, keep us posted :)
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